Questions to ask before buying a house together

What are the questions to ask before buying a house together?

The questions to ask before buying a house together fall into two kinds. Some are about the house itself: where, how much, and how soon. Others are about the two of you: who puts in what, who owns what, and what happens when life changes. Most lists online cover the first kind well. This one covers both, for unmarried couples in England and Wales, with a line on why each question matters and where to read more.

Think of it as a buying a house together checklist for the conversation, not the paperwork. Here are the groups:

Group	The question in short
Money in	Who puts in what, and from where?
The home	Whose names, and how do you own it?
Monthly costs	How do you split the mortgage and bills?
Big one-offs	Does a new boiler change how you share the money if you sell?
If one earns less	How does the money work then?
Moving on	Do your shares follow you?
If you split up	Who stays, and how soon?
Things bought	Who keeps the car, the sofa, the dog?
Looking again	When do you check it still fits?
The practical bits	Budget, place, timing, buying costs

There are no right answers. Equal, by earnings, or “the extra comes back first” can all be fair. What matters is that you both pick the answer, rather than finding out later what the default was.

What should you ask about money before you buy?

Start here, because every other answer builds on it. Be open with each other about what you earn, what you have saved and what you owe. Advicenow says you both need to be honest about this if you later write an agreement down.

What is each of us putting in to buy it? Write down the deposit each of you pays, and whether you count buying costs like legal fees and Stamp Duty. Why it matters: putting in different amounts is fine. Recording who put in what, while you both remember it the same way, makes every later question easier. See unequal deposits.

Is any family money involved, and is it a gift or a loan? Say who gave it, to whom, and on what terms. Why it matters: count help from family too, and agree whether it’s a gift or a loan while everyone remembers it the same way. Tell your conveyancer about it before you buy. Read our guide to a gifted deposit or family loan.

If one of us puts in more, should that come back to them first if we sell? Common answers are yes, all of it; partly; or no, we share equally. Why it matters: in England and Wales, joint owners with no written split usually start at equal shares, even if one paid more. Try your own numbers in the deposit split calculator.

Which savings and debts are yours, mine or ours? All separate, all shared, or a mix. Why it matters: Citizens Advice says you are not liable for debts in your partner’s name only, but you may be responsible for the whole of a debt in joint names. Knowing what’s yours, mine and ours keeps the rest simple.

Whose names go on the home, and how will you own it?

Will both of our names be on the home? Why it matters: in England and Wales, an unmarried partner not named on the home has no automatic share. Advicenow says it is sometimes possible to show you’ve gained a share by paying towards the home, but this is usually very tricky to prove. If only one of you will be named, read partner owns the house and you’re not on the deeds.

Joint tenants or tenants in common? If you are both named, you choose one when you buy. GOV.UK sets out the difference:

Point	Joint tenants	Tenants in common
Shares	Equal rights to the whole	Can be different
If one dies	Passes to the other	Passes under their will

Why it matters: if one of you is putting in more, this choice and a written record of your shares go together. Our guide to joint tenants or tenants in common explains how to choose, and a declaration of trust can record your shares in the home itself.

If one of us dies, what happens to our share? Why it matters: a home owned as joint tenants passes to the survivor automatically. A share owned as tenants in common does not, so it goes under your will. Citizens Advice says the rules for when there’s no will usually let married partners, civil partners and some relatives inherit, not unmarried partners, so wills that match what you’ve agreed are worth making soon after you buy.

How will you share the costs while you live there?

How will we split the mortgage? Equally, by what you earn, or another split. Why it matters: Citizens Advice says that if you’re both named on the mortgage, you’re both responsible for the payments, including any arrears, even if one of you moves out. It also helps to say whether paying more each month changes who owns what, as that’s hard to show later. See one partner pays more of the mortgage.

How will we split bills and food? Why it matters: everyday costs are where small differences add up. Equal, by earnings or a mix can all be fair. Pick what feels right to you both.

Who pays for big one-offs, and does it change how you share the money if you sell? A new boiler, a kitchen, a roof. Common answers: shared with no change; whoever pays gets it back first; or decide each time and write it down. Why it matters: these can cost thousands, and often one of you pays. Agreeing now saves guessing later. Read home improvements: who owns what.

If one of us earns less for a while, how will the money work? For example, to look after children, to study, or through illness. Why it matters: in England and Wales, unmarried partners have no duty to support each other financially, so only what you agree covers it. Whatever you choose, both parents still have to support their children. This question is often what makes a plan fair to the partner who earns less. See having a baby or one partner stops working.

What if you move, split up or life changes?

Nobody buys a home planning to sell it in a hurry. That is exactly why these questions are easier to answer now, together, than later.

If we sell and buy somewhere else together, do our shares carry over? Yes; start again equally; or decide then. Why it matters: if you move again, the question of who put in what comes up again. Deciding now saves redoing the sums.

If we split up, who can stay, and how soon does the other get their share? One of us stays and pays the other; sell and split; or decide then. Why it matters: Citizens Advice says a lender will usually want to check that the one who stays can afford the whole mortgage alone. In England and Wales, if you can’t agree, either of you can ask a court to decide. Read what happens to the house if you split up.

Who keeps the things we buy together? The car, the furniture, the pets. Why it matters: in England and Wales, things usually belong to whoever bought them. Citizens Advice adds that something bought from a joint account will probably be owned jointly. Pets in particular come with feelings attached.

When will we look at this again? Every year, or when something big changes. Why it matters: Advicenow says to update a living together agreement when your circumstances change, for example a baby, a move, or a much better or worse paid job. If you plan to marry, see getting married after buying a house.

What practical things should you discuss before buying a house with your partner?

These are the things to discuss before buying a house with your partner that aren’t about how you share the money, but still shape every answer above.

• What can we afford, together and alone? Agree a top price you are both comfortable with, and a monthly payment you could each cover for a while if the other’s income dropped. A mortgage broker or lender can tell you what you could borrow.
• Where, and what kind of home? Commute, family, schools, space to work, garden. List your must-haves and your nice-to-haves separately.
• How soon, and for how long? A first home for a few years, or somewhere to stay? That affects how much you stretch.
• What will buying cost on top of the deposit? Legal fees, a survey, moving costs and any tax. In England, first-time buyer relief from Stamp Duty only applies if you and everyone you buy with are first-time buyers, says GOV.UK. In Wales you pay Land Transaction Tax, and there is no first-time buyer relief.
• What’s our safety net? How much will you keep aside for repairs and for a month or two when money is tight, and whose savings does it come from?

What does it look like with real numbers?

Alex and Jordan aren’t married. They’re buying a £300,000 home in both names. Alex puts in a £40,000 deposit and Jordan £10,000. Here are their answers to five of the questions, and what each one means in pounds if they sell for £330,000 with £230,000 of mortgage left:

Question	Their answer	At a sale
Whose names?	Both, tenants in common	Shares can be unequal
Who put in what?	Alex £40,000, Jordan £10,000	£50,000 in deposits
Extra back first?	Yes, all of it	Alex £65,000, Jordan £35,000
Mortgage split?	Equally	No change to shares
If they split up?	One buys the other out	Jordan stays: pays Alex £65,000

How the numbers work. Say they sell for £330,000 with £230,000 of mortgage left, so £100,000 is left over. With deposits back first, Alex gets their £40,000 back and Jordan their £10,000. That leaves £50,000, split equally: £25,000 each. So Alex gets £65,000 and Jordan £35,000.

Compare that with equal shares, which is also where the law starts if a home is in joint names and nothing is written down:

What they agreed	Alex gets	Jordan gets
Equal shares (50/50)	£50,000	£50,000
Deposits back first	£65,000	£35,000

The difference is £15,000 each way. Neither answer is wrong: some couples feel a shared life means equal shares, others want the extra deposit to come back first. The point is that Alex and Jordan chose.

Fair to Jordan too. If they split up and Jordan wants to stay, Jordan pays Alex £65,000 and takes on the mortgage, if the lender agrees Jordan can afford it alone. They also agreed that if Jordan earns less while on parental leave, Alex covers more of the mortgage for up to 12 months, with no change to their shares. Illustration only: it ignores selling costs, tax and who paid what towards the mortgage. Try your own figures in the deposit split calculator.

What should you do next?

1. Ask the questions together. CoHabit’s free 10-minute conversation asks the main money and ownership questions from this guide, side by side, one at a time, and your answers stay on your device. Start free, together.
2. Work out your numbers. Put your deposits into the deposit split calculator and pick a split you both think is fair.
3. Talk to a mortgage broker or lender about what you can borrow, together and alone.
4. Tell your conveyancer how you want to own the home and in what shares, before you exchange contracts.
5. Write down what you agreed. A couples agreement (also called a cohabitation agreement) records it. Our guide to what to include in a couples agreement lists every section, and a couples agreement for buying a house compares the ways to do it. Courts can take a clear, signed agreement into account: see how it counts.
6. Make wills that match what you agreed.
7. See a solicitor if large sums or family money are involved, only one of you will be on the title or mortgage, either of you has children from a previous relationship, or either of you feels unsure or under pressure.