What happens to the house if we split up? A guide for unmarried couples

What happens to the house if we split up when we’re not married?

If you’re asking what happens to the house if we split up, the short answer for an unmarried couple is: it depends on whose name the house is in and what you wrote down. This guide covers England and Wales.

There’s no common-law marriage, however long you’ve lived together. When an unmarried couple split up, the house isn’t shared out the way it is on a divorce. A court can’t weigh up your needs, order maintenance for either of you or split pensions. It mostly answers two questions: who owns what share, and should the home be sold? Fewer than half of the people we surveyed (18 of 39) knew that living together doesn’t give you married couples’ rights if you split up.

You don’t have to go to court. You can agree to sell, or for one of you to buy the other out. But what each of you could ask a court for is the backdrop to that conversation, so it helps to know where you both start.

Your situation	Where you start
Joint names, shares recorded	Your recorded shares
Joint names, nothing recorded	Half each
One partner’s name only	The owner starts with it all

Who owns what share of the house?

Joint names, with shares recorded. If you bought as tenants in common and wrote your shares in the transfer form (panel 10 of the TR1) or a declaration of trust, those shares usually decide it. In Pankhania v Chandegra, the Court of Appeal said a written declaration of shares is conclusive unless it’s set aside for something like fraud or mistake, or you later agree something different.

Joint names, nothing recorded. The starting point is equal shares, even if one of you paid more. That’s true for joint tenants, and if one of you severs a joint tenancy you become tenants in common in equal shares. A court can depart from half each only if there’s evidence you both intended something different. In Stack v Dowden, the House of Lords upheld a 65/35 split because Ms Dowden had paid far more and the couple kept their money strictly separate, but said cases like that would be very unusual.

What happens after you split can matter too. In Jones v Kernott, an unmarried couple bought in joint names in 1985. Mr Kernott moved out in 1993 and Ms Jones stayed with their children and paid all the household expenses herself. When he later claimed a share, the Supreme Court agreed their intentions had changed after he left, and Ms Jones got 90%. So leaving things open for years after you separate can shift the outcome, in ways that are hard to predict.

One partner’s name only. The owner starts with all of it. The other partner has no automatic share, however long you lived together, and would have to show you both intended them to have one, for example from what you agreed and what they paid towards it. Advicenow says this is usually very tricky to prove. Our guide to when your partner owns the house and you’re not on the deeds covers this in detail.

If you own as joint tenants and you’re separating, think about severing the joint tenancy. GOV.UK says either of you can do it without the other’s agreement, by giving them written notice. Until you do, if one of you dies the other automatically owns the whole home, even if you’ve split up. Our guide to joint tenants or tenants in common explains how.

What happens to a joint mortgage when you split up?

The mortgage doesn’t end when the relationship does. If you’re both named on it, Citizens Advice says you’re both responsible for the payments, including any arrears, even if one of you moves out. So each of you is responsible for the whole payment, not just your half.

So, early on:

• Keep paying. You’re both responsible for missed payments, and in the end they can put the home at risk. Agree who pays what for now, and write it down.
• Talk to the lender if money is tight. Citizens Advice says you could ask your lender to reduce your monthly payments, usually for a short time, and to check first whether there’s a charge.
• Keep records of what each of you pays after you separate. Advicenow says who pays the mortgage after you separate may make a difference to your shares. If one of you stays and the other has moved out, Citizens Advice says the one who stays could pay the leaver’s share of the mortgage, sometimes called “occupation rent”, and Advicenow says a partner who has moved out may be entitled to a payment from the one who stays. How it’s balanced is something to agree.

You can’t just take your name off a joint mortgage. The lender has to agree, and Citizens Advice says it will usually want to check the person staying can afford the whole mortgage alone.

Who stays in the house while you sort it out?

Citizens Advice says you have the right to stay in the home if you’re on the title deeds, so if you both own it, you both have that right. If you need your ex to move out and they won’t agree, Citizens Advice says you can ask a court to decide who stays: this is called an occupation order.

Either owner can ask the family court for an occupation order under section 33 of the Family Law Act 1996. It can decide who lives in the home, or part of it, and can require one of you to leave. The court weighs things like each of your housing needs and money, the effect on the health, safety and wellbeing of each of you and any children, and how you’ve each behaved. For owners, there’s no fixed time limit: it can last for a set period, until something happens, or until further order. A partner who isn’t an owner can apply under section 36, for up to six months, extendable once.

GOV.UK’s guidance on occupation orders is written for people experiencing domestic abuse. But section 33 itself isn’t limited to abuse cases. If you’re not safe at home, get help first. You don’t have to attend a mediation meeting before applying for an occupation order.

If you have children together, a parent can ask a court for orders for the children’s benefit under Schedule 1 to the Children Act 1989. These can include settling or transferring property for the child’s benefit, such as a home for them to live in. Citizens Advice says you might be able to ask a court to delay selling the home until your youngest child is 18. These orders are for the children, not for either adult.

Should you sell, buy your partner out, or wait?

There are three usual options. None is right for everyone.

Option	Good for	Watch out for
Sell and split	A clean break	Selling costs, moving
One buys the other out	Keeping the home	Needs a mortgage alone
One stays, sell later	Children’s schooling	Shares can shift

Sell and split the money. You pay off the mortgage and the costs of selling, and split what’s left by your shares.

One of you buys the other out. The one staying pays the other their share and takes on the whole mortgage. In practice that means:

1. Agree a value. Get two or three estate agent valuations, or a formal valuation from a chartered surveyor if you can’t agree.
2. Get the mortgage figure. Ask the lender for a redemption statement showing what’s owed.
3. Work out the share. Take the mortgage from the value, then apply your shares.
4. Check the mortgage first. Citizens Advice says to make sure you can get a mortgage alone before you spend money on a solicitor.
5. Transfer the home. A conveyancer sends HM Land Registry a transfer (form TR1), an application (form AP1), identity evidence (form ID1) and a fee. The lender has to agree.

Tax on a buy-out. The Stamp Duty exemption for couples who separate covers married couples and civil partners only. For unmarried partners in England, HMRC counts the cash paid plus the share of the mortgage taken on, and you may have to pay Stamp Duty Land Tax if that’s above the threshold. In Wales, Land Transaction Tax replaced Stamp Duty Land Tax in 2018. Ask your conveyancer. For the partner who moves out, GOV.UK says you always get Capital Gains Tax relief for the last 9 months before you sell your home. If your share might be sold or transferred later than that, ask an adviser about tax.

One stays, sell later. This can suit couples with children, but agree in writing when you’ll sell, how the shares work and who pays the mortgage and repairs meanwhile. Jones v Kernott shows what can happen when that’s left open.

How does this work with real numbers?

Alex and Jordan aren’t married. They bought a £300,000 home in both names: Alex put in a £40,000 deposit and Jordan £10,000, with a £250,000 joint mortgage. They split up when the home is worth £330,000 with £230,000 of mortgage left. That leaves £100,000.

Alex and Jordan's £100,000 when they split up

What they wrote down	Alex gets	Jordan gets
Nothing: joint names, no shares	£50,000	£50,000
Agreement: deposits back first	£65,000	£35,000

With nothing written down, the starting point is half each, even though Alex put in £30,000 more. With an agreement, each gets their deposit back first (£40,000 and £10,000), and the £50,000 left is split equally, £25,000 each.

Now say Alex wants to stay and buy Jordan out, with no savings to use:

If Alex buys Jordan out

Buy-out	Nothing written	Agreement
Alex pays Jordan	£50,000	£35,000
Mortgage already owed	£230,000	£230,000
Alex's new mortgage	£280,000	£265,000

Alex needs a lender who will lend £280,000 or £265,000 on Alex’s income alone. If not, they sell. For Stamp Duty in the first column, HMRC would count the £50,000 plus the half of the mortgage Alex takes on (£115,000): £165,000, which is above the £125,000 threshold in England.

Neither column is the “right” answer. The difference is that with an agreement they both knew the numbers before anything went wrong. Illustration only: it ignores selling and legal costs, tax and who paid what after they split. Try your own numbers in the deposit split calculator.

What if you can’t agree?

Try to settle first. Citizens Advice says you might be able to reach an agreement through mediation, and Advicenow says family mediation can be less stressful and cheaper than sorting things out using solicitors or the courts. Ask a solicitor how best to record what you agree. A solicitor for each of you can also negotiate.

The mediation rules depend on the claim. For an application about children, or a Schedule 1 claim for money for them, you usually have to attend a mediation information and assessment meeting (a MIAM) first, unless an exemption such as domestic abuse applies. A claim about who owns the home is different: it’s made under the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 and goes to a civil court, where there’s no MIAM rule. But the civil court rules say going to court should be a last resort, and a judge can take into account a failure to try to settle when deciding who pays the legal costs.

What the court can do. Under section 14 of that Act, a court can declare what share each of you has and make orders about the home, including ordering a sale. Under section 15, it must consider things including what you intended when you bought it, why you bought it (for example, as a family home), the welfare of any child who lives there, and the interests of any secured creditor, such as a mortgage lender.

Advicenow describes these cases as expensive, stressful and uncertain, and legal costs can eat into the money you’re arguing about. That’s true for both of you.

What steps should you take, in order?

1. Talk, if you safely can. Agree who lives where for now and who pays the mortgage and bills, and write it down. If you made a couples agreement (also called a cohabitation agreement), dig it out: it records what you both intended.
2. Check what you own. Get your title register from HM Land Registry and your TR1 or any declaration of trust from your conveyancer, so you both know your shares.
3. Get a valuation and a mortgage figure. Two or three agent valuations and a redemption statement.
4. Check the mortgage. If one of you wants to stay, speak to a mortgage adviser before anything else.
5. Decide: sell, buy out or wait. Use mediation if you’re stuck.
6. Put it in writing. Record what you’ve agreed, with legal advice, before money or keys change hands.
7. Use a conveyancer. For a sale, or a transfer of equity if one of you buys the other out, including the lender’s consent and any tax.
8. Update wills and nominations. The law only changes how a will works after a divorce or a civil partnership ends, so splitting up when you’re not married leaves an old will as it is, and it could still leave things to your ex. Update pension nominations too, and sever a joint tenancy if you haven’t sold yet.
9. Get legal advice if you can’t agree, the home is in one name, there are children, or you don’t feel safe.

If you’re still together, this is the moment to agree it, while it’s easy. A couples agreement, sometimes called a house buying agreement, can record your shares, who can buy the other out and how the home is valued. Courts can take it into account, especially if it’s fair and you were both open about your money. The free 10-minute conversation takes you through it side by side, and your answers stay on your device. See how your agreement counts and our wider guide to unmarried couples’ rights.